I don’t care about sex

I am exhausted all the time, working and taking care of our 2 year old… I don’t care about sex. My husband is upset, what can I do? I have no desire and just want to go to bed. at night and be left alone… Causing problems in our relationship… many of my friends feel the same way, they don’t care about sex. Too tired after having a baby, especially first three years after having a child, just wiped out, but we all talk about how our husbands are upset, because we aren’t interested. What can we do to find time and not feel so exhausted and feel like we want to be with our husbands?

ANSWER

Your situation is not unique. Caring for a young child is absolutely demanding, typically leaving the mother spent, exhausted, stressed out, and with little or no interest in sex. To have more interest in sex is a best way to start having it every day. You may watch videos online in Runetki.

Here are few suggestions.

Think heart-open intimacy, not sex. Find time each day to simply hold each other tenderly, speaking words of endearment, with no expectation of sex, i. e., sexual intercourse at all.

Make arrangements with friends or family to care for your child for several hours, or better yet, overnight, to give the two of you some time alone without the child. This will not harm the child, on the contrary it will good for her/him.

Share the housekeeping duties, e. g., laundry, shopping, cooking, clean up, etc., preferably with your husband taking the lion’s share or at least half of these duties.

Get your husband to give you a foot massage with warm soapy water, some perfumed foot lotion, and a pedicure.

Get your husband to give you a full body massage. A full body massage can be done in under 10 minutes, or can take an hour or more. This should be once per week minimum, but preferably more frequently.

If there is getting up at night to care for the child, share those times approximately 50/50.

You should take a stress cocktail of vitamins daily, including 500 mg non-flush niacin, B-complex 100, 5000 mg Vit. D3, 1000 mg Vit. C, and 300 mg Vit. B1. Also have your physician keep track of your iron and take a supplement if you are low.

Don’t wait until you feel like making love. Set a time to be lovers. Put it in your planners and allow nothing to interfere with that commitment, except emergencies. Then start the actions of lovers: kissing, fondling, touching, speaking words of endearment, massage, slow dancing, bathing together, washing each other’s hair, etc. Usually the feelings of arousal come from the behaviors, but if you wait until you feel turned on you may never make love again. Allow the behaviors to lead the feelings rather than waiting for the feelings to motivate the behaviors.

Re-confirm your commitment to each other and your love.

Discuss how important the relationship is compared with all the other things in your life, including children and work. Consider making your relationship the most important thing. This will not mean the child is neglected, only that your relationship will not be.

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